Almost every day we hear of sexual abuse in the news, even in our own neighborhood, in most cases, the male is the abuser while the female is the victim.
People have raised many campaigns against sexual abuse against women, many have hated men generally, and they have turned to sadist feminist because of it. Instead of the menace to reduce, it keeps on roaring with statistics showing that the worse is yet to come.
Another way to define abuse in general context is deprivation of anything; when you deprive someone of the information to execute a task, you have abused the person. It is like sending someone to bring something for you, without you naming the thing and where to find it.
In most cases of sexual abuse, without doing many investigations one can see clearly that the abuser had been denied and deprived of sexual ethics which is abuse also.
I use to say that the abusers are also victims too; when it comes to sexual abuse. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying the abusers should not be punished by law neither am I advocating for them to go unpunished.
But if we keep cutting the branches of a deep-rooted tree, we should not expect the tree to die.
Punishing the abusers won’t eradicate or stop sexual abuse; it must be attacked from the root.
We can continue to host different events to raise awareness about sexual abuse and hoping that those events will put an end to sexual abuse or we can go to the root of this menace and make corrections.
We have heard of many abusers after been released from prison still continue to abuse females, it very difficult for them to change because they have been deprived of sexual ethics at their tender age.
When it comes to sex education, the social perspective is that the female child needs sex education more than the male child, this perspective is the pillar holding sexual abuse and it is very wrong for anyone to think this way.
I will always take my stand on gender equality, that it is a lost cause chase by people that have lost hope in humanity, instead of fighting for gender equality we should fight for gender equity.
The male gender is endowed with both physical power and mental strength to dominate and rule so to feed his ego and pride. When a male child is deprived of sexual ethics he will misuse his physical power and think abnormally with his mental strength and he will become an abuser, always looking for a victim to prey on.
The main reason why the male child must be trained and nurtured with good moral values of sexual ethics is because of their strength and power.
A male child that lacks sexual ethics can overpower a female that has sex education and sexual ethics morals. The male child needs this education more than the female child to avoid and curb future terror of sexual abuse.
Prevention is better than cure.
Maybe you may think I am exaggerating on this; I believe that the reason why sexual abuse increase daily is because the abusers had been deprived of sexual ethics at the tender age.
Growing up in Nigeria, I always see parents worrying for their female child and having great concern for then not to be abused sexually and to avoid early pregnancy.
They always warn them not to allow a man to even touch them else they will get pregnant. They preach to them about how good it is to keep one’s virginity for a future husband.
When they see signs of puberty in them, their worries increase.
But I, as a boy, nobody even cares about how I feel about my opposite gender; like deals with the pressure yourself, they are not worried if I am sexually active or not. Nobody wants to know if I am a virgin or not.
We are left alone to provide a solution to our challenges sexually, there is nothing cautioning us apart from religion stories and sermons on how to treat a lady. We are neglected. We had been deprived of sexual ethics to guide us on how to relate with our opposite gender. And many of us had been misguided.
The book of Proverbs 22:6 says; Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Another one says; chasten thy son while there is still hope, and let… Proverbs 19:18
When there is still hope, it is at their formative age, when they are still tender, when they can learn and make corrections. It is at this time we need to instill the good morals of sexual ethics in them especially the male child.
Let me digress a little.
There are two stories in the Bible that illustrate my point in the bigger picture.
The first one is the story of Dinah, the only daughter of Jacob and the Shechem, son of Hamor the Hivite.
And the second one is the story of Ammon the son of King David and Tarma the daughter of King David.
Starting with Dinah’s story, she was the only daughter of Jacob, born to him by Leah his first wife. All Jacob’s family know their customs and traditions, they know it is forbidden for them to marry from the tribe of uncircumcised people. Dinah as a lady also know that it is wrong to be engaged in premarital sex, she knows about her tribe’s strong ethics against immoral acts.
One day Dinah went out to play with daughters of the land, and Shechem saw her and lust over her. Even though Shechen is a prince, the son of the most respected man of his clan, but still he lacks sexual ethics conduct, he does not know what consent means or how to treat a lady.
Shechem overpowers Dinah, raped her and defiles her, after committing this atrocity he repented; he decides to do the right thing by proposing marriage to Dinah’s family. But it is too late because Dinah’s brother won’t let any man treat their sister like a prostitute. This lead to the death of the entire male in Shechem’s tribe and their wives, daughters, and properties was taken as plunder by the sons of Jacob.
The story of Ammon and Tamar is similar to the story of Shechem and Dinah; we can even say Like Shecheme like Ammon and Like Dinah like Tamar.
Ammon is also a prince that lacks sexual ethics, his own situation is even worse than that of Scheme because it is own sister that he lusted after. Tamar is Ammon sister; they are both King David’s children but not the same mother. Ammon was at a point confused; he became sick, lean and depress because he desires his sister Tamar. He was misguided by Jonadabb.
Ammon overpowered his sister Tamar and raped her just like Shecheme did this lead to his own death also.
From these two stories, we can see clearly that, both the abuser was deprived of good sexual ethic morals and this lead to their death.
We cannot put fire on the roof and went to sleep when the fire struck it usually comes with great consequence.
It is unfortunate that many parents in this era we are are still shy to teach their children sex education.
On the last note, I will end with this statement. Let us attack the root of sexual abuse from its deep root not by cutting its branches and leaves. And the only way is to not deprive the male child good morals of sexual ethics.
In simple terms, sex education is important for the male child too.
If you want to read the two stories in full, the first one can be found in the book of Genesis chapter 34, while the second is in the book of Second Samuel chapter 13.
If you read all through, I really appreciate for taking out of your time to read my post.